the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize