I am puke
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
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