yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
