just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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