yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
BRING THE BAGELS
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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