upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
