I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
