cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Randomize
