Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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