her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
