in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
