you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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