hotel room ftw
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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