Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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