If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
