is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I just gift wrapped bread.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
