Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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