what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Randomize
