What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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