Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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