Screwed.edu
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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