decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I think my moral compass just broke
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
