he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
