Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
