Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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