clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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