we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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