Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
