There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
