I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize