ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
