First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
we made out on top of his cat.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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