When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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