That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
