We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Green mimosas i think yes
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Randomize
