All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
