two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I want you more than these girls want KFC
The best revenge is premature balding
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
The beer is more important than you right now.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
