nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
