I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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