Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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