He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
