quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize