I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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