if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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