True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
