was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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