you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Drake has all the answers
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
