is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
