i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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