Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
