I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
So apparently I’m into choking now
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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