Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize