U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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