i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Randomize
