Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
