All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize