the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
