you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
