exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
