she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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